give it up

Sometimes it hurts to walk away
To give up something that means so much
But sometimes walking away is what
You have to do to get back to
The happiest you used to have

In this world,you are told everyday to keep going, to try harder, to do better, run faster, finish this, perfect that. Its a never ending cycle of doing what we are bred not to do; give-up. Since you were little you were always told to fight for what you believe in. Because if you give-up, you'll lose it. But what if what you're fighting to keep is already long gone? Is there a point in fighting and fighting and fighting for something that isn't going to come back? or should you just let go of everything you believe in and throw in the towel.During the course of 7 months, i have been fighting for what i feel in my heart is whats meant to be. And thats what i'm supposed to do right? Im told over and over again that no matter what i do, never give-up on something, someone, you can't go a day without thinking about. But what if, in order to get better, in order to heal, You need to walk away, what if you have to just wing it and see what happens. What if for once in your life, in order to make your life better, you need to stop trying altogether.

Now i know it sounds ludacris, but making yourself feel like an idiot each and everyday by keeping at something until your insides hurt, until every bone in your body is done. until all your emotions just build and build and build and bubble over; its stupid. Now answer me this, What does that do for you? Because personally, if you're working at something with all your might, and no matter how hard you try, how hard you cry, you dont get what you were looking for. Wouldnt it just be easier to just stop. Because sometimes if you walk away from something. Or if you let it be for a little while, eventually it might come back. Im not promising it will. Because even i dont have the strength to do it, because im scared; scared that if i stop trying, every memory, everything i worked for, everything i built will be forgotten. But i think for once in my life, for once in 7 months, im going to finally do what i promised myself, promised my friends, promised him i wouldnt ever do. Im going to give-up, and hey, maybe its stupid, but a lot of things are, we'll just wait and see, wont we?

- I go by Alli
10:50 pm